I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?