I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo