6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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