her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
