Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
