We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
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