BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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