Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I've blown a few things in my day
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
