ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
