i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
