He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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