Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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