I wish I could punch you in the face.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
