i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
