just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
