I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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