I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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