Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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