It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
