you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
