i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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