make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
