there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
