I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
