Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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