true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
This is the high leading the old right now
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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