Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
