You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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