At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
