If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Please don't give away my fajitas
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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