Green mimosas i think yes
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
