But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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