You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
im six kinds of drunk right now
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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