so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
