Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
