Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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