I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
