The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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