Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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