Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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