Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
