You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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