I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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