Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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