i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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