i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
How does one acquire holy water?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
