there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize