Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
