i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
we should paint friendship bongs
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