mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
