I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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