He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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