just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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