just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
