I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sorry my hands just texted you
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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