NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Small penises have feelings too.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
