moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
