okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
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First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
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I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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