i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
