now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
