I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
